What you quickly realize as soon as you have a dog in the city is that there are “dog people”…and there are “bizarro dog people.” I know, I know. It’s unkind to label people “odd,” but sometimes there’s just no getting around it. With a dog, you often get stopped on the street by admirers who want to pet your animal, and they’re usually quite nice. Other times, though, they’re downright creepy. For instance, I once had a guy ask me (with a straight face, mind you) if I ever take showers with my dog. Seriously. Um, no sir, I do not.
So, I decided to create a "Weird Scale" based on what I’ve observed with dog owners themselves. A number 1 means your behavior is fair game; a 10 means you should probably be arrested. Get it?
- Calling your dog “Schmoopy Bear,” “Lovey Muffin,” or some term of endearment that is most definitely not your pet's actual name. (I feel like there’s some leeway on this one.)
Weird Level: 2
- Setting aside an hour on a weekly basis for a doggie photo sesh
Weird Level: 4
- Giving your dog open-mouth, tongue kisses
Weird Level: 8-9
- Spooning with your dog (I may or may not have done this from time to time.)
Weird Level: 2-3
- Picking up your dog’s poop…bare-handed
Weird Level: 9
- Having conversations with your dog and being totally convinced he or she “gets you” (eg “We’re really going to have to work on your sharing,” or “Did you really think barfing in my shoe was going to help you get fed again?” or “Didn’t you just love Foxy the maltese’s new haircut? Glorious, no?”
Weird Level: Unclear. Depends on whether you expect a response.
What sort of strange interactions have you had with people on the street over your dog? Or, have you ever behaved in a way with your pet that had friends giving you strange looks?
Article originally appeared on Red Riley (http://www.redriley.com/).
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