A product called BowLingual claims it can tell you what your dog’s really trying to say when he’s barking. You attach the bark-sensor collar around your dog’s neck and then use a wireless controller to decipher his barks—it indicates whether he’s happy, sad, frustrated, on guard, assertive or needy. It also provides a phrase correlated with the emotion to represent what your dog might say if he could actually speak. (I’m imagining I’d get things like “Feed me, woman!” or “I have to pee, damn it!”) The only issue—and it’s a doozy—is, it only works in Japanese. Sweet.
BowLingual says it maintains a record of the 100 most recently analyzed barks as a point of reference, and it can monitor and record your dog's barks and emotions for up to 8 hours while you’re at work. If you want to watch the hilarious video, click here.